Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 1 April 2010

image for Nadine Coyle, Cheryl Cole, and Kimberly Walsh To Appear On "The Vampire Dairies"
Sarah Harding's 101-year-old great grandmother Bolivia Harding on her way to the market.

HOLLYWOOD - The producer of The Vampire Dairies Manolo Middlezuck has stated that three members of Great Britain's all-girl band Girls Aloud, Cheryl Cole, Nadine Coyle, and Kimberly Walsh, have agreed to appear on the hit vampire show.

Middlezuck said that the other two Girls Aloud members Sarah Harding and Nicola Roberts were asked to appear but declined due to personal family matters.

Harding said that she had to return to London for two reasons. Sarah said that her Aunt Dandelion Wannabirkin, who resides in Little Sandhurst, has just given birth to septuplets.

And Sarah's second reason is to attend a family wedding. She said that her 101-year-old great grandmother Bolivia Harding, who lives in Chigwell, is getting married to her long time sweetheart of 72 years Myron Butchersbroom, IV.

Roberts said that the reason she could not fly to Hollywood to appear in The Vampire Dairies was a personal one. When asked what the personal reason was, she smiled and said that it was personal.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: A quick phone call to Larry King revealed that the personal reason is that Nicola has been scheduled to have G-spot augmentation surgery back in London at Our Lady of The English Muffins Hospital.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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