Written by IainB
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Topics: Gay, Ricky Martin

Tuesday, 30 March 2010

image for Ricky Martin states the obvious
Ricky Martin's trademark was no giveaway

Ricky Martin, the one-hit wonder of Living La Vida Loca fame, has announced today that he is gay.

His publicity company had advised him to keep his secret hidden, to stay firmly in the closet, as openly admitting he likes men could harm his career. Martin, now fifteen, has realised that living off one song is not a career, and there is nothing to harm, so has finally (and to much personal relief) stepped out of the closet and admitted to liking Barbara Streisland and West End Musicals.

Martin has also admitted that he is Puerto Rican, has dark hair and two legs.

Along with his homosexual admission, his fan is not downbeat.

"I always knew," said John Elton of Surrey. "Even about the dark hair and two legs part. I don't think any less of him, in fact I think more of him. Being Puerto Rican was a bit of a shock though."

George Michael is said to be Ricky Martin's role model for coming out of the closet, as announcing his Gaydom harmed George Michael's career not one whit, the public toilets and drugs did that.

Although Ricky Martin was unavailable for comment, his new publicity company has announced that he will release a cover version of the Weather Girls 1980s hit It's Raining Men and Gloria Gaynor's I will Survive.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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