Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 30 March 2010

image for Ricky Martin To Star As Elton John In "Boa's and Lace - The Elton John Story"
A Cover Girl Lipstick that Boy George gave to Elton John on his 63rd birthday.

LONDON - Ricky Martin met with executives of Castle Moat Pictures and will be appearing in May in the Amaretto Monteverdi film Boa's and Lace - The Elton John Story.

Martin said that ever since he was first offered the role back in November he wanted to take it but couldn't because it meant he would have to come out of the 'closet.'

He said that the part was offered to Clay Aiken who turned it down because Aiken felt that he was not old enough, fat enough, or ugly enough.

The role was then offered to Adam Lambert who said that he was already booked to go on his Adam Lambert Rainbow Riding Concert Tour of 53 cities in Panama.

Lambert suggested that they offer the Elton John role to Melissa Etheridge since she does have a voice exactly like Sir Elton's, her boobs are the same size as Elton's, and both wear the same exact high heel size.

Lance Bass turned down the role because he felt that he could not act as feminine as Elton. And Zac Efron, who is straight, said that he had made a vow to his 107-year-old grandmother Tipsy Efrontelli that he would never play a gay person. He said that Granny Tipsy did not mind him playing Adolf Hitler, Charles Manson, or Glenn Beck, but not a gay guy.

SIDENOTE: The film will be shot in location in the English towns of Soho, East Ham, Tooting, Battersea, and Portsmouth.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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