Written by Mark Lowton
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Tuesday, 30 March 2010

image for Is Ricky Martin Jesse James' #5?
Hi, Jesse-wessy, it's Ricky-wicky.

The latest speculation coming out of La-La Land is that recently outed Ricky Martin may have been the fifth 'mistress' of ruthless outlaw and tattoo aficionado Jesse James.

Jesse James recently admitted to an 11-month extra-martial affair with tattoo artist Michelle "Bombshell" McGee, and has caused quite a stir in the US media. The press has had a field-day with this story, raking out countless women, willing to admit to an affair for a fist-full of cash.

Ricky Martin announced he was gay yesterday in a move that is expected to boost his dwindling career. With a recent insurgence of homosexuality in the wider population, analysts expect Ricky's announcement could ensure his celebrity status for at least the next twelve months.

In addition to Martin's gay revelation, reporters are questioning whether Ricky could have had a secret liason with Jesse James at an awards ceremony last Spring. However, since neither have attended any awards ceremony in the past three years throws doubt on the story. The fact that the pair has never even met was simply dismissed as "boring".

Rumours that Ricky Martin was also involved with Tiger Woods, Ashley Cole, Vernon Kay and Simon Cowell are entirely unsubstantiated, but fascinating.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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