NEW YORK CITY - After years and years of denial, going back to his singing days in the boy band Menudo, and later in the older boy band Caldo, and presently in the male band Los Taquitos, Ricky Martin has announced in his official web site that he is just like Lance Bass, Clay Aiken, Adam Lambert, and Elton John - he has gay tonsils.
Martin said that he decided to come out of the closet because it was becoming very difficult for him to keep hiding his lisp, his wiggle, and his shocking pink earrings.
Ricky said that his manager even suggested that instead of using the name Ricky Martin he use Richard Martin instead to try and throw off the gay vibes that a 38-year-old unmarried man using the name Ricky connotes.
The native of San Juan, Puerto Rico said that for the past year he has talked to over two dozen gay celebrities about his being gay.
Many are very popular singers, actors, models, musicians, comedians, artists, and a magician. Ricky noted that they all told him to come out on March 29, which is International Gay Coming Out Day To Those Who Will Be Shocked By The Coming Out Aspect Of The Coming Out Act.
And so March 29, it was. Ricky said that he feels a whole lot better. He smiled and said that now he does not have to explain why he cries at basketball games, weddings, quinceañeras, and McDonald's grand openings.
In a related story. Tiger Woods is emphatically denying the rumor currently circulating in Mississippi that he traded golf lessons to Ricky Martin in exchange for singing lessons.