Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 29 March 2010

image for Sandra Bullock Files For Divorce - She Keeps The Houses and The Cars, Jesse (James) Keeps His Tattooed Skanks
One of the Cycle Chicks of TattooGate. (NOTE: The underarm hair is not a tattoo - it is actually underarm hair.)

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Sandra Bullock, who it seems like two years ago won The Best Actress Oscar for the movie Blind Side has left her home in Austin and headed for The Left Coast to start divorce proceedings against her 'husband' Jesse "Dick With Feet" James.

Bullock has said that she hopes that JJ is happy with his gallery of tattooed carnival freaks aka Cycle Chicks #1, #2, #3, and #4.

James, the owner of West Coast Choppers has said that he is sorry and he wants 'Sandy' to give him another chance. Bullock reportedly replied that if she ever sees him again, she'll take the 38 special that she carries in her purse and she'll shoot his tattooed penis off of its tattooed holder.

When Jesse was asked to comment on the fact that his wife is planning on going ahead and filing for divorce he grinned and said that she won't divorce him because she loves him too much. He then added, "And besides, she knows that there aren't any guys out there who will want her due to the fact that she has two of the most little itty bitty titties in all of Hollywood, including Kate Hudson.

In other news. Oprah Winfrey has stated that the rumor going around about her getting a sex change are totally ridiculous. She rolled her eyes and said that her female shoe collection alone is worth at least $14,000.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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