Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 29 March 2010

image for Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner And Kate Beckinsale To Finance And Star In Indy Vampire Flick?
The Vampires Are Coming! Aaaaarrrgh!

A Hollywood insider today revealed that Twilight trio, Pattinson, Stewart and Lautner had been involved in talks with Brit stunner Kate Beckinsale with a view to bankrolling and starring in their own Indy Vampire movie.

It's thought that the quartet, nauseated by the vast amounts of cash they've generated between them for outside investors and the studios, are giving serious consideration to branching out on their own.

Lining their pockets handsomely in the process.

Some eyebrows were initially raised by the inclusion of Kate Beckinsale, but when it was pointed out how stunning she looked in Van Helsing - a Vampire movie - things quickly started to make sense.

It is thought that the movie project will be based in the UK, using a British film crew and British scriptwriters, which may not necessarily be a good thing, as top Hollywood producer Mike Tricycle pointed out:

"The Brits have forgotten how to do vampires. The days of Christopher Lee and those cruddy old Hammer horror movies are long gone. Look at that pile of garbage 'Lesbian Vampire Killers' - that was one shitty little movie. No class at all. Those dumb assed Brits think that if you show some shapely tits and toss in a few cock jokes and a lot of swearing, they got a hit movie on their hands. They're full of shit."

Nonetheless, our insider informs us that the vampire quartet of Pattinson, Stewart, Lautner and Beckinsale remain committed to the project.

Apparently Robert Pattinson laughs his ass off at cock jokes.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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