Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 27 March 2010

image for Lindsay Lohan Is Not Going To Die - The Press Need To Get A Grip
Lots Of People Get Drunk Or Stoned - So What?

A close friend of Lindsay Lohan approached us today asking us to set the record straight on Lindsay Lohan as scurrilous reports announced to the world that the 'Bad Girls' actress was in danger of impending death.

THIS IS PATENTLY UNTRUE.

Most people are well aware of Ms Lohan's acting career, her carpet munching predilections with Sam Ronson, and the fact that she seems to be getting herself 'papped' more frequently in varying degrees of intoxication.

But this does not mean that Lindsay Lohan is on her last legs, about to shuffle off this mortal coil and sit in the green room up top with James Dean, Marilyn Monroe, John Belushi, Heath Ledger, and River Phoenix.

Ms Lohan's friend pointed out that Lilo as she has been called by the press is still a young woman who is forced to live her life in the goldfish bowl that is Hollywood today. And while it may be true that she has had her flirtations with lip-licking and substance abuse, there is no reason for the press to go around announcing that Lilo is in danger of dropping stone dead at any minute.

The popular press really do need to get a grip and stop being melodramatic.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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