Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 26 March 2010

image for 603 Pound Best Actress Nominee Gabourney Sidibe Offered A Job As The Ringling Brothers And Barnum and Bailey Circus Fat Lady
A photo of Robin "Round Robin" Quivers pet crow named "Blackbud."

DETROIT, Michigan - The Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus was in town for six daily performances at The Unemployment Office Auditorium.

Circus ringmaster Hilton Beaverburg noticed that actress Gabourney Sidibe happened to be sitting in bleacher seats 11A, 11B, and 11C.

He went up to her and introduced her to the crowd who cheered her like she was Tayshaun Prince of the Detroit Pistons who had just made a game-winning three pointer at the buzzer.

Beaverburg told Miss Sidibe that he heard radio shock jock Howard Stern say that the big, big, big, black actress would not make another movie again.

The ringmaster noted that Stern's token black female sidekick Robin Quivers was asked by "The Jock with the Hairdo From Hell" if she knew why Sidibe would never make another movie.

The quivering 'ya sa missur Stern' Quivers replied, "It's a no brainer. It's common sense 101. Mount Sidibe will never make another movie because Hollywood can only make so many Moby Dick motion pictures."

Mr. Beaverburg noted that he met with Miss Sidibe in the circus office and told her that he wanted to hire her as their new circus fat lady, since the present one, 417 pound Beulah Bifflefitt, 63, is retiring in May.

He said that Sidibe exploded and started yelling out all kinds of obscenities and saying that she might be fat, but that she wasn't that fat to be considered for a position as the new circus fat lady. She then added "And besides, who da hell eva heard of a black circus fat lady huh?"

[EDITOR'S NOTE: For the third year in a row, Radio Waves Illustrated Magazine has named Radio shock jock Howard Stern and his overweight token 'token' sidekick Robin "Round Robin" Quivers as the two most obnoxiously obnoxious dipshits on radio.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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