Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 25 March 2010

image for Jesse James' "TattooGate" - Melissa Smith Is Cycle Chick #2
Melissa said one thing that impressed Jesse about her was the fact that she could eat a banana, peel and all in four seconds.

LOS ANGELES - Well it appears that the "Girls of TattooGate" are starting to come out of the woodwork or more accurately hardwood.

And as if sweet little Academy Award winner Sandra Bullock doesn't have enough to worry about with Michelle "Bombshell" McGee, now she will have to hear and deal all about her husband Jesse "Open Zipper" James latest Tattoo Tart Melissa Smith, aka "Cycle Chick #2."

Thirty-five year old Melissa said that she first met "Messy Jesse" when he gave her a ride on the handlebars of his motorcycle, after she had run out of gas on the Ventura Freeway.

"Swell Mel" said that Mr. James told her that he and his wife, whom he referred to as "Flatsie," were separated. She said that he then told her that he wishes that his wife had big knockers like hers.

Melissa thanked him and pointed out that they were not store bought and that they were 100 percent real. She pointed out that she had gotten into tattoos after her ex-boyfriend had insisted that she get a tattoo to prove his love for her.

Smith said that she ended up proving her love for her ex-boyfriend a total of 87 more times.

Melissa said that she really did not like Jesse at first because he kind of had a B.O. problem. She also said that he reminded her of a Nazi storm trooper and that he had trouble pronouncing his R's.

She said that they began seeing each other on a regular basis and she confessed that he used to ask her to tell him things of a sexual nature, such as "Your dip stick is big," "Your tuna tickler is big," and "Your Mr. Whopper is big."

In a related story. The Tattoo Association of North America has reported that since "TattooGate" first hit the news there has been an 80 percent increase in women getting tattoos.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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