Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 25 March 2010

image for Dancing With The Stars Tony Dovolani Says He Has Got His Hands Full With Kate "Graceless" Gosselin
Tony Dovolani's pet Yorkie named Kate the Great, which was a gift from Kate Gosselin.

LOS ANGELES - Kate Gosselin's professional dance partner on Dancing With The Stars Tony Dovolani has flat out come out and said that he has certainly got his hands full this year with the star of the former reality show Jon and Kate Plus 8.

Tony remarked that "King Kate," as her ex-husband and his lawyer call Mrs. Gosselin, not only has two left feet, she also has two left knees, two left hips, and two left ovaries as well.

Kate reportedly told Tony that she really and truly wants to quit but she knows that if she does the country will say that Kate Gosselin hasn't got any balls, which technically she doesn't but figuratively speaking she has a set of 'nads on her that could literally put Ron Jeremy to shame.

Gosselin may elect to go the route of saying that her babysitter says that all eight of her kids cry all night asking for their mommy to come home and spend time with them instead of messing around at all hours of the night with 'Uncle Tony.'

Tony was asked what Kate's problem is. Tony who is not bashful replied, "Kate's problem is that she just flat out cannot dance. She does not have any coordination, no style, no grace, and no wiggle or jiggle in her buttiggle."

Dovolani said that he has been known to work miracles in the past but where Kate Gosselin is concerned there is really nothing that he will be able to do.

Tony smiled and said that Kate's only hope lies with the 50 to 70 men's age group who for the most part seem to think that Kate is the greatest thing since Viagra coffee.

In other news. Paula Abdul remarked that for the past six weeks she has been down in Costa Rica, where she has been conducting Costa Rican Idol auditions. She was asked how she likes Costa Rica and Paula said that it's great if you like bananas, banana sandwiches, bananaburgers, banana tacos, and banana pizza.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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