Jordan, the most glamorous and beautiful woman in her house, made a shocking announcement at her Daily Price Conference that she is to go on strike.
Dazzling the crowd of drooling journalists in a pink diamond-encrusted tabard and matching tiara, Katie Price said , "I'm having a nightmare. I can't get any headlines because of all these f*n strikes, so I reckon if you can't beat 'em join 'em. I ain't doing nothing 'til my tits are back where they belong under a nice juicy headline. Until further notice please assume I ain't posing, authoring, slagging my ex off, or making any public appearances."
Following the shock announcement The Press Association received a petition signed by millions requesting that Katie Price headlines be permanently banned, thus ensuring she remains on strike forever.
We can but hope.