Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 23 March 2010

image for Eighty-Year-Old Buzz Aldrin Places Last On Dancing With The Stars - The Producers Should Be Ashamed Of Themselves
A photo of an exact replica of the International Space Station which Buzz Aldrin has sitting in his backyard.

HOLLYWOOD - The man was a genuine American hero. He traveled to the moon. And he was the second human being to ever walk on the moon.

Buzz Aldrin flew 66 missions during the Korean War, but shame on the producers of Dancing With The Stars for what they are doing to this American Icon.

In the ten year history of Dancing With The Stars there have been some horrible dancers including Master P., Kenny Mayne, Jeffrey Ross, Monica Seles, Adam Carolla, Macy Gray, and Tucker Carlson.

Master P was bad because he could not understand English. He always spoke in some kind of weird Swahiliesque dialect.

Kenny Mayne just did not pay attention. During rehearsals he was always looking out the window at Robin's building their nests, or at the traffic lights changing colors, or at people getting on a city bus.

Jeffrey Ross was just an egotistical, self-centered, conceited punk who could not spot a pun if it snuck up and bit him on his steroid looking ass.

Monica Seles was just completely uncomfortable and said that she could not function without a tennis racket in her hand. And Adam Carolla and Tucker Carlson were just lost causes. Those two were doing good just to walk without falling down.

And Macy Gray, was perhaps one of the most uncomfortable looking dancers in the shows ten year history. Macy had one hell of a vulgar mouth on her. She seemed to forget that she was performing before a nation-wide audience and was not just sitting around some run down ghetto in Detroit shooting the breeze with some local crack ho's.

But Buzz Aldrin is different. At 80, he is just too old to be doing the moves, spins, twirls, and steps that the likes of Pussycat Dolls lead singer Nicole Scherzinger, or Olympic champion skater Evan Lysasek seem to master so effortlessly.

Even big old gal Niecy Nash, top-heavy Pamela Anderson, and Kate "Clueless" Gosselin are at least giving it the good old college try. But good old Buzz, is just basically standing there and letting his pro-partner Ashly Costa dance circles all around him (pun intended).

I think that the producers must surely have blown a lot of smoke up Aldrin's space capsule or something. You don't get points for merely showing up and letting the viewers see one of the true last American heroes. It is sad, but it is the truth.

Buzz Aldrin deserves better. Now Jake Pavelka aka The Bachelor placed #5 in the first week of competition. His soon-to-be-wife, the much hated Vienna was in the front row pouting and basically acting like she was mad because she was not asked to be one of the dance contestants.

And Kate, of the late Jon and Kate Plus 8 reality show all dressed in pink looked about as out of place as a woodpecker at an ostrich convention.

In other news. Zimbabwe has cancelled its plans to invade Bolivia due to the mess kit shortage.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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