HOLLYWOOD - Pamela Anderson was pretty upset that she ended up in the bottom two on last week's Dancing With The Stars.
Anderson said that she cannot figure out how Kate Gosselin, a graceless, talentless, fake blonde with a rather stretched out wim wam (pum pum) could have gotten more viewer votes than her.
Pam stated that maybe it is due to the fact that Internet site www.vftw.sux encourages readers to vote for the worst.
Anderson said that she cannot stand Kate because Kate thinks that she is better than everyone else just because she managed to 'pop out' six little kiddoes in one shot.
Pam says that she did not like "Diva" Gosselin saying that she (Pam) has store bought tits.
Anderson fumed as she said, "Look I want that dishwater haired, thunder thighed skank to know that these fine-lookin' puppies came from a hospital and not from a store like her state-of-the art $700 Senor Singapore Sling Six-Speed Selective Vibrator did."
Pam said that she is pulling out all of the stops and she is going to be showcasing her boobs and her booty dancing in the skimpiest outfit that the NBC censor will allow.
Anderson winked and said that she has decided to take Carrie Ann Inaba's suggestion and not wear any bra or panties.
She says that this way she will get all of the teenage boy votes and probably about 98 percent of the lesbian vote as well.
In a related story. Oprah Winfrey reported that Rosie O'Donnell, Ellen DeGeneres, and Melissa Etheridge voted for Pamela Anderson a total of 2,683 times.