Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 22 March 2010

image for Jon Gosselin Dating The Lesbian Pedicurist On "The Real Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania"
A photo of Ribby Updyke, the lesbian pedicurist who is dating Jon Gosselin.

INTERCOURSE, Pennsylvania - Jon Gosselin formerly of Jon and Kate Plus 8 and ex-husband of Kate Gosselin has admitted that he is in fact dating Ribby Updyke, the lesbian pedicurist on the reality show The Real Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania.

Jon was asked why in the world he would be dating a lesbian. He looked down and replied that she promised him that she would not make fun of his 3-inch wiener like Kate and three of his ex-girlfriends all had.

Gosselin said that he had always insisted that whenever he had sex with a woman that it would be completely dark. He said that it worked and none of the women ever really saw his 'winky' or even knew that it was the size of a nine-year-old boys.

Ribby Updyke was asked about Jon's "Under-Endowment." She grinned and said "Well it really does not bother me because no matter what, Jon still has a bigger crotch cookie tickler than any girl that I have ever been with and that includes Ashley "Yo Ho" Wireblicker who had an amazing 2-inch clitoris.

Reports that Jon Gosselin is shopping around an idea for a reality show to be called Jon and Ribby The Carpet Muncher are totally false.

'The Real Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania' had recently been cancelled when the five women were charged with running a prostitution ring. But due to the fact that all of the evidence against the five somehow disappeared from the Intercourse Police Department all of the charges have been dropped. And the Bravisimo Network has said that production on the show will start up again in one week.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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