Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Lindsay Lohan

Monday, 22 March 2010

image for Lindsay Lohan's Gynecologist Says That Although LiLo is Only 23, Her Intimate Body Parts Look 43!
A photo of Lindsay Lohan taken in her home. (NOTE: LiLo is wearing crotchless pantyhose).

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Lindsay Lohan's gynecologist, Dr. Dagoberto Foxowitz, has confided to Larry King that LiLo looks at least 20 years older than she is.

Dr. Foxowitz, who has been Lohan's gynecologist ever since she was 12, said that the structure of most of Lohan's intimate lap parts look like they have been used round-the-clock.

He said that for instance, her G-spot is actually three times the normal size. And Dr. Foxowitz says that he actually wrote a medical paper on it entitled, The G-Spot of a Certain Unnamed Movie Star Is So Big That I Have Nicknamed It Her GGG-Spot For Goodness Gosh G-Spot.

The doctor went on to say that Lohan's labia minora has grown in size to where it is now referred to as labia majora 2.

And he said that her uterus is so large that it could easily accommodate a banana, two oranges, a cup of grapes, and a small bag of complimentary peanuts.

When asked if the unusual nature of Lindsay's rather large personal female intimate body parts has any bearing on her sexual activity he smiled and asked, does a polar bear have little furry balls?

"Ah...yes?"

The doctor said that Lindsay's sexual hormone number fluctuates between 9 and 10. He was asked what does that mean in common terms,

He grinned, winked, and said "Well a normal sexually active female, such as say Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, or even Mrs. Ellen DeGeneres (Portia de Rossi) has an average SH number of 6, so with Lohan hitting 9 and 10, it certainly leads me to believe that she is getting a lot more action than even a lot of the whores in Nevada's infamous Mustang Ranch.

In other news. Nancy Pelosi has said that the rumors that are currently circulating throughout the East Coast about her starring in an upcoming new reality series called, 'Washington D.C. Political Grandmothers Gone Wild' are positively false.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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