HOLLYWOOD - After finding out that her husband, Jesse James, was playing 'tonsil hockey', 'crotch croquet,' and 'hide the salami' with one of the most tattooed skanks (ho's) in the entire United States of America, Sandra Bullock has moved out of the couples Left Coast mansion, La Casa Vrrroom Vrrroom.
The recent winner of the Academy Award for Best Actress has been keeping a low-profile due to the embarrassment over the fact that her husband was poking a life-size human Tattoo catalog.
A reliable source has stated that Bullock is so upset that she has already lost 17 pounds and her weight has fallen to 91. The unnamed source added that she has even lost weight in her titties and considering that the two puppies were A-cups, Sandra cannot really afford to be losing much in the knocker department at all.
The source said that if things keep going the way that they are she might just wake up tomorrow, look down at her lap, and find that she has grown a penis.
Dancing With The Stars dancer and Cheryl Cole confidante Derek Hough has reportedly been allowing Bullock to stay in one of his spare bedrooms up in his Hollywood Hills home, Casa Cha Cha Cha.
Hough was quick to state that there is nothing going on between him and Bullock because Sandra knows that Derek's heart, mind, stomach, and the 'trouser snake' belong to Cheryl.
Women and San Francisco gays can see non-photoshopped photos of Derek Hough's 'trouser snake' that were reportedly taken by Bruno Tonioli by logging on to www.derekhoughandthetrousersnake.pix