GREEN BAY, Wisconsin - Meryl Streep and her husband were in Green Bay picking out some cheese that they plan to serve at a big Easter Sunday party they are having at their $4.3 million Hollywood Hills mansion Casa Blonde Pubes, which once belonged to Marilyn Monroe.
Miss Streep was asked about the "Kiss Seen 'Round The World" which she received at the lips of the Academy Award winning Sandra Bullock.
She blushed and said that although she thoroughly enjoyed the lip lock that sexy Sandra put on her she has apologized to Miss Bullock.
Streep said that she apologized because she has heard that her punk-ass husband Jesse "The Tattoo Taster" James is now claiming that the reason he had his so called alleged affair with "Bombshell" McGee is because he was very embarrassed by his wife making out with (Streep) in front of 130 million television viewers.
Streep was told by a close friend of Bullock's husband, that Jesse, he of the 'Wandering Winky,' is really and truly one effed up motorcycling grease monkey. The friend went on to say that Jesse does not even deserve to even be in the same county as Bullock much less inside of her.
Meryl said that she had read about the Best Actress Oscar Curse (BAOC). She said that she was shocked that shortly after winning the Academy Award for Best Actress the following actresses ended up getting divorced; Kate Winslet, Hilary Swank, and Halle Berry.
She went on to add that each of their husbands had body tattoos. When asked if her husband of over 30 years, Don Gummer, has any tattoos Meryl rolled her eyes and said that her husband has three tattoos. One of a mallard duck is on his stomach, one of an albino cricket is on his left ankle, and one of President Millard Fillmore is on the back of his left knee.
Streep confided that she has flat out told her husband that she wants him to remove all three tattoos before the next Academy Award show comes around or she will file for divorce.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: I had to ask Abel why in the world Gummer would have a tattoo of Millard Fillmore on the back of his knee or anywhere on his body. He said that he was very curious as well and that he did ask Meryl about it. He said that she told him that it was because Fillmore was the 13th president of the United States and 13 is Gummer's lucky number.]