Written by Bureau
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Friday, 19 March 2010

image for Fat Linda Ronstadt Ruins Mel Gibson's Fantasies
Beauty Gone To Fat!

Instead of being in trouble again for getting smashed and shooting his mouth off about somebody or other, a very sad-looking Mel Gibson told a reporter from UP2 Saturday night that he had just seen a fat Linda Ronstadt and that was why he was drinking more than he should.

"She's ruined my many years of fantasizing about her", stated Gibson.

Gibson talked about his younger days and all the great hits Linda Ronstadt had and how beautiful she was back then.

"I guess it happens to a lot of us. I mean, I can see myself in the mirror. But I wish I had never seen her like that."

Ronstadt at one time was known as "The First Lady Of Rock" and "The Queen Of Rock" with nearly 40 Billboard Hot 100 hits. She appeared on 120 of her own and other artist's albums. She was the leading money maker at times.

"I think I'm going home now and stare at some of those old albums. Listen to a few. Watch some videos I have of her. Ever see that one of her at the Grammies with the Neville Brothers? Great."

Gibson just made it out the door before he got sick. Whether over Ronstadt or mixing the wrong drinks, I don't know.

This is Dan Hillard for UP2.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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