BROMLEY, England - George Alan O'Dowd, aka Boy George was visiting an old high school friend in Bromley when he was told by this reporter that his duet with Susan Boyle on the song "Single Ladies - Put A Ring On It" had just hit the top of the Billyboard Music Chart.
George spent some time last year incarcerated in The Petula Clark Prison For Blokes on several charges from semi-molesting a Buckingham Palace Guard's horse to public intoxication, and engaging in quasi-lewd, lascivious, and linguistic activity while in the presence of an elderly schoolmarm.
The song duet was recorded at The Bitter Lime Tree Music Studios in Pimlico under the name "Boy & Boyle." Boy said that he has known Susan Boyle or SuBo, for a long time. He says that she is one of the nicest, sweetest, most foul-mouthed Scottish lasses that he has ever met, and that includes Caitlan Jilleen Cutcombe, 39, one of the top female bagpipers in all of Scotland.
Cutcombe once reportedly used 147 curse words in one span of 60 seconds.
SuBo said that she really enjoyed working with Boy George on the single. She laughed and said, "Well at fust, I was a bit scared I was. I had never seen a real gayster before ya know. I was tinkin' to meself, should I pretend dat I duzzn't know dat he rides sidesaddle or should I merely act like he's just a normal good old bloke except for da one fact dat he fancies ticklin' chaps in there unspoken groin regions. It was a difficult choice it was."
Susan said that once Boy said hello she was fine and she realized that Georgy was just like George Michael except a lot more effeminate, sissyish, and with tons more makeup.
Boyle said that she will sit down with Boy George and discuss the possibility of him possibly being her opening act when she goes to Africa on a 47-city concert tour in June.
She said that she knows that he is deathly afraid of lions, but hopefully the little brigands will be kept away from the stage.
Appearing in next weeks column. The Top 20 Stupidest Things That Paris Hilton Said In February.