Written by Jude
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Topics: Cheryl Cole, accent

Wednesday, 17 March 2010

It was confirmed today that Cheryl Cole was planning to go ahead with experimental accent surgery. The singer is keen to get rid of her 'Geordie Wag' persona after splitting up with Ashley (I'm not Bisexual) Cole last month.

The surgery is planned for early next month and the re-named Ms Tweedy is hoping it will help in her efforts to break into the American market.

Professor Grant Grubber who has pioneered the risky technique and will be performing the pint sized pop stars surgery, had this to say, "After much soul searching Ms Tweedy has decided surgery is her best option. She feels her accent marginalises her appeal too much and is fed up having to pay for an interpreter anyway".

The proff claims he can give you any accent you desire by using his specially designed laser technology on the vocal cords. He also confirmed that after much thought Cheryl will be going for one of his newest accents, the Aberdeen Welder.

When asked about any concerns that this might affect Cheryl's singing voice, Professor Grubber said, "Really?"

We are all wishing you the best of luck Cheryl because remember, 'You're worth it'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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