Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 18 March 2010

image for Sales of Rolling Stones Albums Go Through The Roof Thanks To American Idol
The old Air Force One Presidential Jet which Mick Jagger purchased and renamed Jumping Jack Flash.

LONDON - Rolling Stone lead singer Mick Jagger sat in the spacious living room of his mansion in St. John's Wood as happy as a midget in Beyonce's knickers.

The 66-year-old Rolling Stone said that his agent Watson Birnbeck, called him up and told him that due to American Idol showcasing their twelve singers all singing songs by the Rolling Stones, record sales had shot through the roof.

Birnbeck said that Stones' songs such as "Ruby Tuesday," "Paint It Black," "Beast Of Burden," and "Who Let The Dogs Out" were selling like hot dogs at a New York Yankees game, or fish and chips at a Manchester United game, or chicken wings at a New Orleans Hornets game.

Birnbeck added that one of the radio stations in Teddington had played "Play With Fire" a total of 15 times in a row. Another radio station in East Ham was giving away Rolling Stones CDs to callers who could correctly guess (in days) how old each of the band members are.

Stones guitarist Keith Richards was reportedly so happy that he has offered to pay at Simon Cowell and Kara DioGuardi's wedding. When Richards was told that Cowell and DioGuardi were not getting married, he smiled and replied, that it surprised him because the way he's noticed Kara rubbing her raging hormonal body all over Cowell he would have surely thought that he was putting it to her.

Richards then asked if it was true that Ellen DeGeneres is a c*rpet m*uncher. When told that she is, and that she is married to a woman, he grinned and said that he would like to peak into her bedroom just for 18 or 45 minutes.

In other related news. Randy Jackson has been asked by American Idol producer Simon Shindlebocker to stop booing Simon Cowell each time at the start of the show when the judges are introduced. AI director Simon Witleywine said that he personally has told Randy to act like the professional that he is and not like some chump who just arrived her on a boat from Lower Zamgola.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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