Written by Hartley
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Topics: Katie Price

Wednesday, 17 March 2010

image for Katie Price: Kids Want To Be Like Me
Katie Price targets the next generation

Britain's busty orange beacon, Katie Price, has exclusively revealed her latest venture into the children's toy market. The range, will be branded as KP:GU, an acronym for Katie Price: Grow Up, and is expected to revolutionise the way the next generation think.

At Katie's daily Price conference, her PR, Mr. Pester, gave us a brief insight into the range, designed to let kids play at being Katie Price.

The lady herself then arrived dressed as Lady Godiva on her new horse, Lack Beauty.

Taking the podium wearing a pout, hair extensions, six sets of false eyelashes and nothing else, Price said ,"Oi you lot! Another Pricey EXCLUSIVE for ya - I'm bringing out some stuff for you to buy your kids. I'll have my picture on all the packaging and that'll make you all buy anyway, but I thought I'd tell you about it now 'cause I ain't had a headline all week."

Price then claimed, "These products are all about letting kids play at being like me, after all I AM who they ALL want to be. Woo-hoo!!"

Waiting journalists were then shown a five minute promotional film about the new range which includes a cot that converts into a sunbed, silicone-filled bras for 3-5 year olds, a set of Katie Price dress-up bikinis, and the Zero Emotion Botox Mask.

When asked about the morality of targeting children with products such as these a spokesman for the King Cash Corporation, who will be manufacturing the range, deflected any future blame by saying, "We just make what people want to buy."

The range is expected to be on sale in all good supermarkets shortly.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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