Glamour model, businesswoman, mum and media mogul, Katie Price, shocked the nation at lunchtime when she failed to make any money during her appearance on Celebrity Bargain Hunt.
The show's complex format, which has previously won the highly acclaimed Cheapest UK TV Production Award, involves two teams being given £300 to spend at a bric-a-brac fair. Later they sell their purchases at auction, and the team that makes the highest profit wins. This special edition of the show saw the Orange Team (Katie Price and her latest husband Alex Reid) and the Green Team (Jodie Marsh and Christopher Biggins) competing to win.
Viewers managed to keep their eyes open long enough to see Pricey immediatey blow the entire £300 on just three items; a signed copy of the Katie Price autobiography A Tale Of Two Titties, a signed copy of the Katie Price novel To Kill A Shockingbird, and a signed Katie Price 4 MP campaign poster, depicting her antics in the 2001 general election when she promised free plastic surgery for all.
Grinning inanely stunned presenter Tim Wannacutt eyed up the model's acquisitions, commenting "Well, Orange Team, you were really supposed to buy antiques, but we'll still take you to auction to see what you get."
Price replied, "These are antiques - antiques of the future - real investment pieces. They'll be worth millions one day - you'll see."
At the auction only one of the Orange Team's items was sold. Neither of the books received a bid, although the auctioneer did ask if he could have them to support the legs on his wonky table. The campaign poster went for 99p, but the buyer was later refunded after explaining that he had thought the poster was a valuable and funny spoof, not related to an actual event. He said he had found out that 718 people had been daft enough to waste their democratic vote on Ms. Price in 2001, and that knowledge had severely depressed him.
The Green Team fared much better and ended up with a total profit of £1.50. An overjoyed Jodie Marsh commented "I can't believe it - that's the first time ever I've made more money than Katie Price."
Biggins and Alex Reid were unavailable for comment as they had sloped off somewhere together dressed as pantomime dames.