It's not so much red alert its spoiler alert as Star Trek bosses are fuming following a plot leak. Their new movie is not due out until 2013 but its story line is out and we can reveal it.
The latest film will open with the mad as usual Klingons who are determined to attack the Federation, but to do this they need new ships. So they decide to borrow heavily from the Bankons a race of scavengers who feed off less fortunate worlds situated in the dolar quadrant. However the Bankons are a reckless race and before long find out the cheeky Klingons had no intention of paying the loan back!
Up step the mighty Romulans who on hearing about the Klingons plans, decide to reclaim their stored quantum bonds from the Bankons. The head of the Bankons realises he is in trouble and so tries to refinance the deal with none other than the Federation. When the Federation's Admiral O'Bama finds out what's going on he sends Kirk and his crew in to kick the ass of the Bankons. The story ends with the Head of the Bankons in chains being paraded in front of the people of the Federation.
It's too late to start changing plot lines now and to make matters worse casting has already started. Major baddy will be the head of the Bankons played by Bernard Madhoff, Admiral O'Bama by Denzel Washington and the entire Klingon race by Iceland! "We wanted to keep it as real as possible," said one of the casting crew and I think we've achieved that.
Fans will be pleased to know that the Kirk will still shag an odd looking alien who in this movie will be played by Lady GaGa, odd indeed.