Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 14 March 2010

image for Norman Bates Spends Mother's Day Talking To Himself
Mudder! Is That You Mudder?

Norman Bates spent Mothers Day mainly talking to himself in his padded cell here, alternating between his own voice, and the voice of his murdered mother, which he puts on with creepy effect.

Bates, who inspired real life serial killer Ed Gein, of Wisconsin, who inspired Robert Bloch to write 'Psycho' which inspired Alfred Hitchcock to make the movie of the same name has been incarcerated since 1942 when he was convicted of murdering his own mother and two other women.

He was also convicted of digging up three graves and stealing bodies, which he later crafted into a bone chair and human skin lampshades.

He was sentenced to 989 years by a jury of his peers.

A guard at Moorview told us that Bates spent most of the morning talking to his mother, who appeared to be in good spirits despite being brutally butchered and mummified several years ago. The guard reported that there was one tense exchange when Bates' mother berated him for keeping her calcified corpse in a rocking chair in the fruit cellar for 17 years, but that Norman talked his way out of it.

Bates, widely regarded by those who come into contact with him as rehabilitated, has recently been taking an interest in oil painting, and in posting humorous articles on a satirical website under a pseudonym.

He is, by all accounts, a huge fan of Cheryl Cole and the Twilight movies, likes a good laugh and is currently looking for an internet girlfriend.

Norman Bates is 103

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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