Written by Proffitt
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Topics: Cheryl Cole, BBC

Sunday, 14 March 2010

image for Cheryl closes Beeb for Cowell the Illuminati Captain
Simon Cowell

Cheryl Cole practically closed BBC 1 on Friday evening by backing out of the Jonathan Ross Show at the 11th hour. Her press bods put the no show down to Cheryl having a tickly cough but we know different. Her failure to show was part of an elaborate plot to topple the BBC orchestrated by none other than Simon Cowell.

Cheryl thought she was acting out of respect for Simon Cowell, who she believed to be a very good friend of Manuel. Cowell, on the other hand has been plotting with ITV to bring down Aunty Beeb, leaving us all with a limited choice of TV. Apparently, Cowell wants to inflict 52 weeks of the X Factor with number one's planned for not just Christmas but Easter, Bonfire Night and even Pancake Day!

Some say Cowell, a member of that infamous group the Illuminati, even brought about the demise of Cole's marriage by apparently throwing sexy girls at Ashley in order to sink the marriage. Bruce Forsyth wondered if Cowell caused his "accident" leading to his one and only missed episode of the Beeb's rival show Celeb' Come Dancing. "Somebody should investigate Cowell," said the old dancer of the flamingo.

Many believe Minogue, another of Cowell's harem only just escaped his clutches last year because of her sister who has connections to the antipodean Mafia. They told Cowell to leave her alone or risk all out war. Cowell apparently backed down rather that jeopardise his plans to overthrow the Beeb.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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