Written by Bill Licks
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Saturday, 13 March 2010

image for Image of Jesus seen in Christine Bleakley
Bleakley reveals the blisters on her palms after her marathon water-ski

Roly poly West Brom fan and presenter of BBC1's The One Show, Adrian Chiles, claims he had a 'highly religious moment' when he saw the face of Jesus.

Not in the bottom of a saucepan or on a piece of mouldy bread like normal members of the public do. Chiles witnessed the vision in the face of his glamorous co-presenter, Christine Bleakley.

It happened when he was sat on the boat that was towing the Irish beauty as she attempted to water-ski across the English Channel.

'All of a sudden I witnessed a beam of light shining down on her,' said the bearded Brummy who isn't a Brummy because he's from North Worcestershire. 'I looked at Christine and I saw her flowing tousled hair blowing in the wind and what appeared to be a five o'clock shadow on her prominent jaw. '

'As she was water-skiing I thought to myself no normal human being could stay on the surface of the water for that length of time so maybe she was being aided by a higher being.'

'One that was a renowned water walker.'

'None other than the son of God himself.'

'Jesus Christ.'

'I'm not a religious man but that spiritual moment made me believe that she really is a very special lady indeed. You could almost say I worship the ground she walks on.'

'If only she felt the same way about me. I'm funny. I'm cuddly and I can grow facial hair that would knock the socks off any Chelsea mid-fielder.'

'What's fatty Frank got that fatty Adrian hasn't?' He muttered as he was led away sobbing.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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