Written by C. Cranium
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Friday, 12 March 2010

image for Football Match Therapeutic for Sex Addicted Tiger Woods
Football part of Tiger's therapy

Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren were seen at the Manchester United match on Tues. March 6 (Man Utd 1, Wolves 0). It was so unexpected that paparazzi missed the whole thing. Woods and Nordegren arrived and left on private charter plane and stayed only for the match.

Dr. Bernard Fife, chief clinician at Pine Grove Addiction Services in Mississippi, prescribed football (soccer for you yanks) to Woods and arranged the visit to a Premier League match. Dr. Fife is quoted as saying "We believe in football. It is a therapeutic treatment for sex addiction that has enormous rehabilitation powers".

Dr. Barney Fife ought to know sex addiction as he grew up in St. Andrews, Scotland and listened to horny old golfers as a young caddy and later as a resident doctor. Dr. Barney Fife is no relation to the famous US law enforcement official Barney 'one bullet' Fife.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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