Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Cheryl Cole

Friday, 12 March 2010

image for Cheryl Cole Sick - Or Is She Pregnant?
Is She? Isn't She? Who Knows?

Media darling and self appointed 'People's Princess' Cheryl Cole, the Geordie pop warbler out of Girls Aloud and oft to be seen sympathetically sobbing stalwart of the X-Factor has cancelled all public engagements for the immediate future.

Which means that her eagerly awaited appearance on 'Friday Night With Jonathon Ross' has also been shelved. A spokesman for the star revealed that she is suffering from bronchitis and is "gutted" that she has been confined to a sick bed when she could be out and about entertaining her adoring fans.

Yet BBC tea lady Gertrude Simmons has a completely different slant on this breaking news story. Simmons, 61 of nearby White City, a die-hard Elvis Presley fan and stalwart of her local Shepherd's Bush bingo club told us:

"You don't wanna believe all that rubbish about little Chezza being down wiv the bronchitis. I seen her a few days ago I did, and she ain't got no bronchitis and that's a fact. She ain't the type to get the bronchitis. I'll tell yer what that girl's got, Gawd bless her - she's got the mornin' sickness. She's up the bleedin' duff, Gawd bless. Bladdy pregnant is wot she is. And I know, cause I've had one or two meself. Got that glow in her cheeks she has. All rosy like,"

Cheryl Cole's people vigorously denied any suggestion that the star is pregnant and insisted that she was suffering from bronchitis.

But Big Ange, Gertrude's mate and fellow BBC tea lady told us:

"I wouldn't dismiss what Gertrude said if I wuz you. Known her for years I have and she ain't been wrong yet. You mark my words."

Jonathon Ross told us off the record that he was, of course disappointed that Cheryl Cole wouldn't be appearing on the show and wished her a speedy recovery. When we told him about the pregnancy rumours he simply shook his head and laughed.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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