Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 12 March 2010

image for Christine Bleakley Water-Skis The Channel - Frank Lampard Spotted 'Hovering'
Spotted Swimming Near Christine Bleakley. Codename Frank.

The One Show presenter, Christine Bleakley has successfully completed her attempt to water ski across the English Channel, raising funds for charity in aid of needy Africans.

Bleakley set off early this morning from the south coast near Dover and beached in France 1hour and 40 minutes later.

Only falling off 8 times in the process. She also had to swerve at one point to avoid an oncoming oil tanker, but apart from that the crossing went relatively smoothly.

Bleakley was egged on with words of encouragement shouted through a loudhailer by fellow One Show presenter Adrian Chiles, who said he wasn't daft enough yet to go water skiing across the channel with all that cold water everywhere when he could stand in the warm on a boat and get equal publicity.

Intrigueingly, Bleakley's alleged 'boyfriend' Frank Lampard was conspicuous only by his absence. Or was he absent? The couple, if indeed that is what they are, have kept their relationship - if they actually are in a relationship - closely guarded and private.

But one observer claimed to have seen a man wearing a rubber shark suit landing in France a few metres away from the One Show presenter. The mystery man reportedly quickly shucked off the shark suit and walked away along the beach, glancing nervously over his shoulder as camera crews descended on the Irish One Show presenter for comments.

It may be significant that the shark-man was wearing a Chelsea FC shirt with 'LAMPARD' stencilled on the back.

Curiouser and curiouser...

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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