Lovely little Mark Owen of Take That and Celebrity Big Brother fame has today confessed to cheating on his wife with ten different women.
In his lovely little high voice he said, "I have been a really, really bad little lovely lad, and I hope you can all forgive me. It wasn't my fault it was the booze what Ashley Cole sends me every Christmas as a lovely little pressie. I only have to have a sip of it and next thing I know I'm waking up next to a strange woman and having to lie to my lovely little wife and kids."
Ashley Cole commented, "Ten? He beat me! Mine was only six wasn't it??? Shit I'd better get down Slags'R'Us quick. Can't get beat by lovely little Mark Owen - that ain't very macho. Do you know if John Terry's been told yet?"
Katie Price is in crisis talks as this unexpected story has eclipsed her re-entry into the country.