Written by Bureau
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Tuesday, 9 March 2010

image for Naomi Campbell Now Attacks Jon Gosselin

After her limo driver had dropped his suit against Naomi Campbell and things had settled down between Campbell's screaming match with Chris Brown, Naomi has apparently lost it once again. This time it's with Jon Gosselin.

"That little prick had the nerve to ask me out", she reportedly stated to the same limo driver who had been there when Jon called a few hours before.

Naomi, who is finishing up her community service work and mandatory anger management course that was a requirement of a former sentence, stated that Gosselin seemed to take it for granted that she would be happy to see him.

"How can you be happy to see someone with a banana sticking out of each front pocket?", she asked a reporter from UP2. "He looked like he might draw one out and shoot me with it. I told him that he should carry a peanut and he got mad."

When help arrived and Naomi was pulled off of Gosselin, she claimed that she was only acting in defense.

"He may be short in some area but he sure has big cahoonies to ask me out!"

The police say that all charges were being dropped because three witnesses stated that Pee Wee started the whole thing, apparently confusing Jon with Paul Reubens.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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