Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Topics: Murder, doll, Barbie

Tuesday, 9 March 2010

image for Barbie Murders Ken
Barbi's Handcuffs From Her Barbi Bondage And Discipline Kit

New York, NY-- Barbie is in a prison today after the dismembered body of her boyfriend was discovered last night, floating in the Hudson River. The NYPD says Ken was stabbed over twenty times and then castrated. Barbi was arrested a short time later at her Manhattan penthouse and charged with the crime. Neighbors say Barbi was taken away in handcuffs and that her famous blond hair was 'soaked with blood.'

Barbi and Ken shared the same penthouse for fifty years, but never had sexual relations. Allegations of homosexuality have dogged Ken for years. The strain was apparently too much for Barbie, and she went on a psychotic rampage last night.

Barbie grabbed a butcher knife from her Barbi Dream Kitchen and then chased Ken around the penthouse. She chased Ken into her Barbi Beautiful Bedroom and Bath. Barbi then got some rope and handcuffs from her Barbi Bondage and Discipline Kit and went totally berserk on poor Ken.

NYPD won't release many details but say the crime was horrific. Plastic body parts were found all over the penthouse.

After the senseless crime, Barbi loaded the corpse into her Barbi Coupe de Ville and then the body into the Hudson and returned home.

Neighbors of the pair say Ken 'was a real doll.' No one had anything nice to say about Barbie.

"What a snob!" laughed Miss Piggy, a neighbor. "She never had a word for anyone. She just walked around with her nose in the air, thinking she was so hot." said the muppet. "I hope they send her to Barbie Death Row and put her in the Barbi Electric Chair with Matching Loveseat." said the muppet.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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