Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 8 March 2010

image for Piers Morgan Rates Cheryl Cole Higher Than Robert Pattinson And Susan Boyle But Not As High As Simon Cowell
Welcome To The Big Bad Apple

In what was most certainly a weekend to forget for Britain's tabloid editors, there was one news item which was actually true, swirling around out there amongst all the slings and arrows of outrageous fiction.

A former tabloid editor himself (Until he dropped the ball by publishing some 'genuine' photographs of British troops abusing 'Iraqi prisoners.') Piers Morgan was asked by a leading tabloid rag to name his top 100 really influential British celebrities.

And doubtless paid a wheelbarrow full of money for enlightening us all with his esteemed 'Hot' 100.

Piers' conclusions didn't quite convince everybody in Britain, but they did make for interesting reading. Many were surprised to learn that Piers rates Cheryl Cole above Twilight star Robert Pattinson, given that Pattinson is already a multi-million dollar box office attraction, whereas Cheryl Cole is a support act for the Black Eyed Peas. Pattinson starred in 'New Moon' and 'Twilight' whwereas Cole blubbed a lot on the X-Factor. And Piers published those photographs.

Many observers feel that Susan Boyle has made a massive impression on the nation's collective awareness, but not as massive an impression as Cheryl's miming - or lip synching as they call it - which had TV viewers slack-jawed with incredulity at the incompetence of it all.

One clown even suggested that Cheryl Cole had only climbed so high in Morgan's estimation because she is regularly parodied on a certain satirical website, but we pretty soon disabused him of that idea.

In fact, Piers only rated two celebs over Cheryl - David Beckham and Simon Cowell, which struck many as odd.

But at least it was one man's honest and true opinion.

One of few non-fictional items in the news last weekend.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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