Written by Bureau
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Sunday, 7 March 2010

image for Yoko Ono The Cause Of Paul McCartney/Heather Mills Split!

Today, in two separate accounts, both Sir Paul McCartney and Heather Mills blamed Yoko Ono for the split up of their marriage.

"Yoko was always calling and telling Paul that I was out with Brad Pitt or some hunk we both knew from my past working with my charity of getting rid of thousands of armed mines in the ground in 30 different countries", Ms Mills told UP2 Ass Reporter, Dan Hillard.

Earlier in the day, Sir Paul had reported the same thing. "Even though I knew it was Yoko Ono up to her old tricks, I still had to get on the phone and start calling around. I'm sure this all got back to Heather. Yoko would see to that!"

Meanwhile Sir Paul told us that "Yoko was having friends call Heather and tell her I was having a jolly old time with my groupies."

Then, I believe she was the one to pay someone a lot of money to run out of our house topless (actually from the back of the house) just as Heather came back from one of her overseas trips."

"This is old hat for Yoko. She told all kinds of things about me to John and even had Ringo believing that John was writing all the good stuff though both of our names were on it. That woman was bad news for our group from day one."

Meanwhile, Ringo stated that he had forgotten who Yoko was, when asked about the Lennon/McCartney and Beatles split.

"We split? Yes we did. At least I think so. Ask George!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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