Critically acclaimed author and literary phenomenon, Katie Price is to write the unofficial autobiography of heartbroken national sweetheart, Cheryl Cole.
The book, which Price has given a working title of Cheryl's Seedy, is planned to tarnish Ms. Cole's clean-cut image, and to damage sales of a forthcoming official biography, which she is currently discussing with publishers.
Recent reports that up to £5m has been offered for Cheryl's true story seemed to have pricked up Ms. Price's ears, and she has employed the services of the ghost-writer who has penned Katie's rivetingly omnipresent autobiographies.
In a statement Price said, "I'll get this out on the supermarket shelves before they can even cut a deal on the official story. I know how to do these things. That official story is going to be a seller, so I'll get my one out quick - then it won't knock me off my perch as best-selling UK author (after J.K. Rowling)."
Katie Price's ghost-writer was unable to comment as she is contracted to remain anonymous.