Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 5 March 2010

image for The Five Members of The Real Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania Are Arrested On Charges of Prostitution
Ribby Updyke, one of the five Real Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania.

INTERCOURSE, Pennsylvania - The Bravisimo Network has just announced that it has cancelled one of their highest rated reality shows, The Real Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania.

An executive with the network Terence Stipplemuck said that he wanted to dispel the rumor that has been running rampant that the show was cancelled due to the fact that two of the five housewives were caught holding up The Intercourse Second National Bank.

Stipplemuck admitted that yes it was true that Ribby Updyke and Giddy Breedlove had in fact held up the ISNB but that was not the reason for the shows cancellation.

Mr. Stipplemuck pointed out the reason that the show has been cancelled is because all five women were recently arrested running what local police are calling the largest prostitution ring in the history of Pennsylvania.

Tessie Cashmere, who lists her profession as high-priced call girl and Giddy Breedlove who is a professional pole dancer actually were the brains, boobs, bahookies, and bikini burgers behind the 27-girl operation.

The other three Intercourse housewives, Marvi Skiffington, Tapioca Mantelleta, and Ribby Updyke were members of the prostitution's board of directors.

Sheriff Wallace Daffingshire stated that the five women had all been under surveillance for the past three months. He went on to say that his department has collected enough DNA to scare the daylights out of 25 to 30 percent of the menfolk of Intercourse, including, politicians, lawyers, doctors, businessmen, and one auto mechanic.

Terence Stipplemuck of the Bravisimo Network had no choice but to terminate the show since almost immediately the shows five sponsors dropped out. The five sponsors include Summer's Eve, The New Lady Remington XYZ Crotch Hair Remover, Mrs. Montoya's Avocado Margarita Mix, Coke Zero, and The Aunt Alexis Yeast Infection-Be-Gone 24-Hour Antibiotic Salve.

All five housewives are presently incarcerated in the Intercourse City Jail. The Bravisimo Network will temporarily fill the one hour Friday night slot with reruns of reruns of the old Elizabeth Montgomery sit-com Bewitched.

In non-related news. China, in the mist of one of the biggest population booms in centuries is asking married women to please try and not make themselves so attractive to their husbands. The Chinese Department of Babies has issued a directive instructing all married Chinese women to go to bed wearing the biggest curlers available in the free world. They are also asking the Chinese wives to stop shaving their underarms, legs, and bikini region, and to start saying things like "Oh most honorable husband I notice that your little winky is getting smaller and smaller and it no longer is ringing the bell in my 'love harbor.'"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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