Written by Skoob1999
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Thursday, 4 March 2010

image for Robert Pattinson 'Fled' USA To Arrange Blackpool Wedding
Riding The Big One At Blackpool

According to our sources, reports of Robert Pattinson fleeing the USA after some terrible row with love interest Kristen Stewart are terribly misguided.

We were told that Rob was in a hurry to depart the USA simply because he was hurrying to Blackpool to put the finishing touches to arrangements regarding his upcoming marriage to beautiful young Twilight co-star Kristen Stewart.

Our Fylde coast correspondent Duncan Whitebait tells us that Hollywood's golden couple have arranged to hire the entire Pleasure Beach complex out of hours so that they can ride the Grand National and the Wild Mouse, also to laugh hysterically with the Fun House clown.

Kristen Stewart is far too demure to confirm or deny that she would be riding the Big One.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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