Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 2 March 2010

image for Kate Gosselin Says She'll Dance Her Buns Off On Dancing With The Stars
Kate Gosselin shown relaxing by her backyard swimming pool while her kids are inside watching the finale of The Bachelor.

PITTSBURGH - Kate Gosselin was in town at a local Wal-Mart buying Easter outfits for her eight kids when she was notified that she had been selected as one of the 11 celebrity contestants on this years edition of Dancing With The Stars.

Kate became so happy that she immediately grabbed one of the sales clerks and started dancing a Argentine Tango right there in the little girls department.

The store manager approached her and asked if she was alright. Kate replied that she was and that she was so happy at the moment that any of the sales clerks could touch her kazoo or grab her doo-dahs and she would not mind it one bit.

The manager, an elderly man in his late 50s, instantly patted her on her fine-looking kazoo and was immediately slapped on the hand by Mrs. Gosselin.

"Hey" he yelled out. "You just got through saying that you were so happy at the moment that anyone could touch you on the kazoo or grab your doo-dahs and you wouldn't mind it one bit."

Kate grinned and said that she had just said that as a figure of speech. The manager told her to gather up all of her eight kids and get them and herself out of his store before he called the police and had her charged with disturbing all of the store's patrons.

Kate left the shopping cart filled with children's clothes and shoes as well as a Cuisinart, a ketchup dispenser, and a box of Always Pantiliners and walked out of the store with her eight kids in tow.

As she got to her SUV a reporter for TV station WPUD Channel 51, asked her how she felt about being chosen to be one of the new Dancing With The Stars contestants.

Kate, who is recently divorced from her husband Jon, smiled and said that she felt great and told the reporter that she had to hurry home to make arrangements about getting a permanent baby sitter while she is away in Los Angeles performing on DWTS.

Before she drove off, Kate lowered the driver's side window and told the reporter to be sure and print that she is planning on dancing her buns off!

In other news. Hollywood Hills residents who live on either side of actress Kirstie Alley called up the police department to report seven tsunami's. They were told not to worry that the water was just coming from Kirstie Alley's swimming pool due to the fact that she was trying out her brand new unbreakable swimming pool diving board.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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