Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Dancing On Ice

Tuesday, 2 March 2010

image for Dancing On Ice Judges Attack An Angry Emily Atack And Send Her Skating On Back Home
The hair dryer that Emily Atack received from the show's producer Burgess Willowhouse as a going away gift.

LONDON - Dancing On Ice has sent Emily Atack, the star of The Inbetweeners back to her London flat and the young lady was none too happy.

On her way out of Elstree studios located in London's Borehamwood, the 20-year-old Emily was so angry that she slapped a taxi driver who told her that he had heard about her getting her adorable little arse booted off the show.

Miss Atack also hit the taxi driver with a snowball that she had found backstage. She hollered out that judge Jason Gardiner is nothing but a fat, stupid, talentless Aussie who has reportedly cavorted with female kangaroos on numerous occasions and even with a male kangaroo on two occasions.

After Atack and her partner Fred Palascak's dance off with Danniella Westbrook and Matthew "Speedy" Gonzalez Emily was told by Jason Gardiner that her performance was so boring and lackluster that she could have phoned the whole bloomin' thing in.

He added that she looked silly wearing a school girl's skating dress that looked like it had been splattered with green, blue, yellow, and red paint.

None of the five judges was very kind to Miss Atack, aka Charlotte Hinchcliffe, who had danced to the Crystals' "Da Doo Ron Ron." Nicky Slater told Emily that she should have saved them the heartache of watching her and not done the "Da Doo Ron Ron" dancing ditty.

Emma Bunton told her that she had no idea who this Ron Ron bloke was but that he is probably covering his face in embarrassment. Robin Cousins called the dance number, a cross between Sir Elton John skipping and Queen Elizabeth II walking from her kitchen to her hat room backwards.

And Karen Barber remarked that her and Fred's helicopter spin dance move had all the grace of a dinosaur eating a caveman.

Emily Atack thanked all of the people who had supported her including Prince Charles, Sir Paul McCartney, and Queen Elton.

To view somewhat revealing photos of Emily Atack you can log on to www.wowlookatemilyspuppies.tit

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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