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Monday, 1 March 2010

image for World's Largest Game of Naked Twister Takes Place in Gymnasium
And where would you put your hand on "left hand red?"

The floor was covered with row after row of red, blue, yellow, and green dots. The contestants wore only their sweatbands and socks. A man on the stage had his finger ready on the spinner. Judges along the walls were ready with clipboards in hand and whistles in mouth. The world record for the largest game of Naked Twister was at stake, and no one wanted any slips (no pun intended).

Three hundred contestants crowded the floor of the Cleveland Municipal Gymnasium, most ready to set the Book of World Records mark (a few were just there to try and pick up naked girls).

The first call of the day was "right hand blue," and the competitors jumped to be the first to put their palms and fingers down on the appropriate dot. The next call, "left hand red," caused the first person to drop from the competition when he grabbed the breast of the woman beside him.

Chuy Woods explained his actions by saying that "I'm a little nearsighted, and mistook her nipple and areola for one of the red spots on the floor. Something, however, felt too smooth, too soft, too nice, and had a little bump in the middle, so I knew that it wasn't one of the red dots. It became more apparent what I'd grabbed when I got slapped and took a knee to the groin."

Miss Rhea Evers was allowed to continue with her game, even though her hands left the floor, due to the physical assualt. She did admit afterwards, however, that she gave Woods her phone number.

After seeing the performance between Rhea and Chuy, there were several other "accidental" gropes whenever right or left hand was called on "red," prompting officials to remove these options from the spinner board.

After fifteen minutes, officials gave up on continuing the contest when the scene on the floor devolved into an orgy. Several men and women, however, declared themselves winners.

Officials did declare that the desired world's record was broken, as this was the world's largest game of naked twister and it actually lasted two minutes longer than the previous record for large group naked twister.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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