Written by Earl Grey
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Topics: Sugababes

Monday, 1 March 2010

image for Sugarbabes Change Name To Fructosegirls
A new lightweight alternative was in the charts

The pop combo The Sugarbabes are to change their name to The Fructosegirls following a legal challenge by founding member Keisha Thingumajig. keisha is unhappy at being relegated to the ranks of former members of the group, now said to total over 500.

Current members Heidi Hi, Amelle Ofagoodsinger and Jade Suing have decided to avoid a protracted legal action with Ms Thingumajig. The name change is seen to be an easier option. Heidi Hi said "I don't like sugar anyway so I don't mind."

Industry insiders say that such a move could be commercial suicide. Legendary Radio DJ Tommy Goebels said "The name 'Sugarbabes' stands for something. People expect a certain sound. Like cats being murdered. Changing the name is crazy. It would be like changing the line up of the band every few months. How many bands get away with that?"

It is not known if Ms Thingumajig will attempt to form her own version of The Sugarbabes, called Demerara, or if she will try to claim ownership of the original name. The prospect of two bands recording banal pop at the same time may lead to music fans taking legal action against the whole lot.

Former band member Sir Sebastien Coe said "I didn't enjoy my time in the band. Too many clashing egos and no real love of the industry. I turned my back on music. It just put me off." If you had ever heard Coe's harmonies you would realise what a tragedy this is.

We await the Fructosegirls' first release with eager anticipation-NOT.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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