Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 11 March 2010

image for Robert Pattinson Promises The "Twi-Hards" That He Isn't Hanging Up His Fangs Just Yet
One of the cowboy boots that Pattinson will wear in the movie The Old Dalton Gang Rides Again

BOSTON - The Twilight Saga series star Robert Pattinson was in town to shoot a commercial for Boston Baked Beans. After the fifth take and his sixth bowl of beans the director yelled cut and that it was a wrap.

Pattinson then sat down with a reporter for The Boston Morning Earth newspaper to talk about his future.

He revealed that he had a lot of fun making his newest film Remember Me. When asked what the motion picture is about he smiled and said that it is about remembering and not really forgetting.

When asked to elaborate on that he grinned and said that it is the universal premise of not ever forgetting to remember.

Pattinson said that the overall theme of remembrance jumped at him when he first read the script. He said that it was ironic that after putting down the script while he went out to check the mail, he returned inside the house and forgot where he had left the script. He finally recalled after he got off the phone with American Idol judge Ellen DeGeneres.

Robert wanted to assure his legion of fans that he is not quite yet ready to hang up his vampire fangs. He then went on to say that his next two films will be Westerns.

Patti, as his gay Uncle Tyler calls him, said that in May he will begin filming the motion picture epic The Damn Truth About The Little Big Horn with Willie Nelson, Shakira, and Brett Favre.

Then in October he will travel down to Bracketville, Texas to film The Old Dalton Gang Rides Again with Clint Eastwood, Jack Nicholson, Simon Cowell, and Elin Nordigren.

In other news. The Hershey Chocolate Company has just produced the largest chocolate bunny ever made. The rabbit stands twenty feet tall and weighs one ton. A company spokesperson said that after Easter the 20 foot tall bunny will be given to Kirstie Alley.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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