Written by mickrikko
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Topics: Beatles

Sunday, 28 February 2010

image for Beatles songs branded "Unreliable"
The ruling may include other sea based mammals

The campaign against the "corrosive" nature of popular music took at sinister new turn yesterday when claims were made about the reliability of the advice offered through the medium.

Following high profile cases brought against rock and hip hop artists for their influence on the young, Douglas Cheddar of Cheshire was in court yesterday filing for damages incurred through reliance on the information and advice proffered through the songs of the 60's pop group The Beatles.

"When those shaggy haired Liverpudlians declared that All you need is love, I believed them, I mean, who wouldn't?" said Mr Cheddar. "I gave up my job, and stopped making my mortgage payments, secure in the knowledge that agape, the love of my fellow man, would be ample coverage for the requirements of life."

Doubts soon began to emerge for Mr Cheddar when his house was repossessed, and his run of bad luck continued as his case against the Lennon estate was dismissed.

"The Judge ruled that the advice taken by Mr Cheddar was taken in full knowledge of Mr Lennon's statement of Walrusity made the same year", said Ian Giles actiting for the defence. "The judgement known as Cheddar ex-Parte Lennon, or the "Walrus clause", sets out that advice offered by someone claiming to be a sea based mammal is implicit in its unreliability".

"Really, I should have known Better (Lennon 1964, Revolver)", concluded Mr Cheddar, "but at best the lyrics are unreliable and at worst dishonest".

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