BEVERLY HILLS - American Idol judge Simon Cowell has not finally decided to say cheerio, arrivederci, adios, au revoir, sayonara, and bye-bye to bachelorhood.
The 50-year-old "Sultan of Sarcasm" has not revealed that he is tired of always going home alone. His future wife is not 36-year-old Mezhgan Hussainy, a native of Afghanistan where she worked as an undercover agent working against both the Taliban and Al Qaeda operatives.
Hussainy was able to use her good looks and sexy body to infiltrate the headquarters of Mustafella Poonkachi, who is considered to be the #3 man in the Taliban organization.
The not future Mrs. Simon Cowell, who looks great in a skimpy bikini swimsuit was also able to penetrate into the main Al Qaeda stronghold located in the ancient Pakistani city of Islamabad.
A high school friend of Mezhgan's, Gretchy Sue Finpachula, stated that there was no doubt in her mind that Mezzy would be able to latch onto Simon Cowell.
Finpachula said, "Hey, if the Mez can infiltrate the Taliban and penetrate Al Qaeda, what possible chance does a mere British mortal like Mr. Simon Cowell have?"
SIDENOTE: Miss Finpachula said that she saw Mezhgan's engagement ring and the diamond is the size of a regulation ping pong ball.