Written by Rajley
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Topics: Noel Edmonds, crash

Monday, 15 November 2004

Following the shocking news of how the NHS found a patient work as a chip shop person last week, it has been revealed that the NHS has also given a former TV entertainer permission to gate crash a party. Holding a bunch of 7-inch records Noel Edmunds gate crashed a rave party held in an anonymous part of London. "I started to DJ like a radio DJ" he replied, "I even read out the hourly news at 12pm, 1pm and 2pm". The NHS maybe blamed as the crowd was shocked when Noel started scratching the 7 inch Mr. Blobby record to make it sound modern, "It's what people like nowadays" he replied.

He admitted being influenced by the stripper who found work with the NHS last week. He said "What a woman, now it's time to display MY assets as a top entertainer. He then admitted "I went a bit loopy after the demise of Noels House Party, but I'm OK now". Two seconds later he turned to the audience and said ‘OK the time is now 1'oclock and after the news I'll be playing Bros, Level 42 and Curiosity Killed the Cat. The rave audience were particularly angry as it took Noel 5 minutes to read the news, 3 minutes for advert breaks and a further 6 minutes to read the travel and weather". One witness said, "He was great and it was about time Level 42 were back in the charts".

Noel said the NHS have provided him job security for life and started talking about the DJ gig "It was 3 hours of top notch music, much better than all this acid rubbish you hear nowadays". Although there would be many who disagree with his statement, there was one particular person who raved about his performance. "This will no doubt exemplify his career, he is an entertainment God" said a 39 year old anonymous witness. The witness disappeared 2 minutes after being asked to be identified.

Well no doubt this could be the springboard opportunity for Mr. Edmunds TV comeback, but the debate will continue; an act of NHS lunacy or sheer excellence?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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