Written by Abel Rodriguez

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Friday, 26 February 2010

image for Ke$ha Says If She Was Cheryl Cole She'd Stab The Low-Life Cheatin' Ashley In His Winky Poo
Ke$ha shown holding her favorite kitchen knife. (Photo courtesy of Warren Beatty).

WEST HOLLYWOOD - The electropop singer who goes by the four-letter, one-character name of Ke$ha told several members of the news media that if she was Cheryl Cole and her husband Ashley had cheated on her with the half dozen or so tarts she would not hesitate for one moment to stab him in his winky poo.

The Tennessee-born powder keg says that if she wants to smell a female yeast mill she'll eliminate the middleman and go right to the actual source.

Ke$ha along with Adam Lambert have both been responsible for the recent 500% increase in glitter sales. Both performers use glitter all over their body. Lambert reportedly puts it on his 'nads and Ke$ha puts it on her G-spot.

In fact U-Tub has placed several glitterized photos of both Lambert and Ke$ha on their web site.

In other news. A recent aquatic study has revealed that jellyfish are 99% water and only 1% jelly.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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