Written by Jaggedone
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Thursday, 25 February 2010

image for Kelly Osbourne (who?) would rather be a skinny Junkie than a fat Miss Piggy!
Kelly Osbourne once a Miss Piggy has now turned into a skinny piece of CRACK-ling!

Talented? famous? super-brat daughter of that other infamous tatooed Alco/Junk, Ozzy Osbourne, has admitted to the world that she would rather be a Junkie than look like Miss Piggy!

Actually, her only claim to fame is being the daughter of an ancient rock-relic, having her dogs piss, crap and lick her all over, star in a very crap (loads of it especially doggies) reality MTV show with the rest of the Osbourne morons and say "FUCK YOU" from the age of two!

Well now the world has really stood up and listened to what Kelly has to say:

"I was once a fat Piggy, cried in my Daddies pierced, tatoooed arms, then I went on a diet of coke, pills and crack and now I'm a skinny Junkie, I love it!"

Naive teenage, chubby girls, will certainly be listening to what "Miss Piggy" Osbourne has to say and switching to her healthy diet, thanks Kelly!

Her dad, Ozzy, was too pissed/stoned to comment but did manage to offer her the following advice:

"Kelly, I luv ya babe fat or thin, but please don't ever try to fucking sing again it's worse than a triple COLD TURKEY!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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