What a feeling! Our wires are buzzing with unconfirmed reports that Cheryl Cole spent her last night in LA alone with dancer Derek Hough - who without doubt will become tagged 'Dirty Derek' by the tabloids before the day is out.
So what were they doing? Dirty dancing? Having the time of their lives? Messing about with grease? Charming the samba? Doing the Chelsea cha-cha-cha?
Nobody seems to know for sure. We called Cheryl's best friend, Sarah Harding out of Girls Aloud and told her that we were planning a spoof series on her and her hilarious frequent bikini changes. She was delighted by that until we told her we were just kidding and hung up on her.
Which leads us back to the leading tabloid question of the day:
Was Cheryl dancing in the moonlight with Dirty Derek? Was there nitty gritty in the city? Did they boom-boom shake the room? Did they do some California dreamin' afterwards?
We don't really know, but we're pretty certain Ashley's lawyers would like to.
More as we get it.